omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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