its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
