Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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