An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
