i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
