But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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