Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
