My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
