M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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