he thought i was a dude.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
