don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
tequila makes me forget i have legs
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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