is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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