Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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