He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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