Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Randomize
