I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
time to smoke my breakfast
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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