Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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