You're completely useless in the revolution.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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