She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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