I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
