I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
