whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
