the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
