dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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