Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
