So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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