Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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