Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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