Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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