Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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