I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
