I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
