Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
