I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
