chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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