I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
