I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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