just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
