Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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