so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
