i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize