Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
it's like iHOP with fire
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
