I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
