How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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