Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
