so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Randomize
