You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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