I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
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