There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
