What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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