I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
