he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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