PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
