Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
