Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
