I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm bleeding and have questions
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
