Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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