she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
