I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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