i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
