I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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