so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
