How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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