Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
