When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Who died my cat blue again?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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