R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
