he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
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Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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